"Why does everything come back to sex with you," she said as she unlocked their bikes and looked for the lights."Look, I'm not arguing with you in front of the boys, or in the lane where everyone can hear. Just go and try not to be bitter. We have both suffered losses this year, probably everyone lost someone in their family, but life goes on."The youngest, Paul, now started crying, saying, "I don't want to go, why are you making us go Mum?"Margaret lost it at this point and screamed at him, "Get on that bike and follow me you little bastard, do as you are fucking well told."I just looked on, not knowing what to do. I didn't approve of the way she was behaving, and the curtains at Phil's were already twitching.As she rode off into the night with the two boys following I felt really sorry for the two lads, she had lost her temper with them but it wasn't their fault.I went inside and shut the door. I sat at the table, buried my face in my hands and cried. I wasn't upset about Margaret. ? I feel protective, paternal,almost affectionate.? I want to hear himweep from pain and know that his suffering was for me. I want to untie himright there and fuck him, raping him over and over until he screamed for me,screamed for mercy, screamed for more.?Somehow I am caught in his eyes, his pleading, puppy-dog, tear-reddenedeyes.? I clear my throat. "This is goingto be hard on you boy, very hard." I manage to make my voice a low rumble."You are going to suffer today.? Allthe men who come here are going to beat you - again and again - because that iswhat you are for.? You will scream andcry, but your body will continue to be tortured, as it should be - as itmust."? His eyes flicker and fillwith terror, but he still presses his face into my touch and licksimploringly.? I lean closer.? "I want you to take it all for mysake.? I want to know that you aresuffering for my pleasure.? Can you dothat?? Can you give me your pain?? Will you be a good boy?"? He nods frantically as I talk, but.
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